Can’t wait for the online course I am doing to be finished. It was only about 8 weeks long if that, but its dragging on and on. I took the option of working in a buddy group and the other two have been dragging their feet. I am completely over it, and hope to god they give me feedback on the last exercise soon. I just want to be rid of it! For the buddy exercises I have just copied and pasted all our responses into the porfolio, I can’t see any point in trying to summarise them, I really don’t care about it now.

Ok now dithering about going to belly dancing tomorrow night. I think its on. Need to get organised, and maybe find my cheque book. Funds are incredibly tight at the moment. I’ve ended up spending more money than I had budgeted on things (an extra trip with extra petrol, vet bills, and now a $250 car bill to pay). Oh well. Payday on Thursday. My pay is going to have to stretch to two lots of groceries, and probably the power bill, so its going to be another tight two weeks damn it. I now wish I wasn’t going to AKL purley from the money point of view!!

Now in week 4 of regular exercise, so I am hoping I have cracked it and formed a habit. I guess we will see when the weather changes.

Week one – four walks

Week two – 3 walks

Week three -one lunchtime walk, one after work beach walk (noticed I could walk further in the 30 mins) , another day walked to and from the carpark (parked at the far end, tip from a colleague!)

Week four – lunchtime walk today

I think bellydancing starts tomorow night, so thats another activity opportunity.

On the minus side, had a very bad food day yesterday. Pigged out on bbq leftovers at lunchtime. That wouldn’ t have been so bad but I devoured almost all the corn chips left over (and there were a lot). Talk about conditioned hypereating with those things. I knew what I was doing but didn’t have an “off” button. Well that’s not quite true, I did stop before they were all finished.

I notice there are increasingly more articles out there on emotional overeating. That combined with conditioned hypereating is a drastic combo. I think I am more in the conditioned hypereating camp these days.

It occured to me when my friends left I should have just binned the corn chips. I really should have. The only solution is not to have this crap in the house. If its there I crave it. Still I am getting better.

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Well back to work tomorrow. All in all it was a really great week off, although I hate to think what size my carbon footprint must be after it The AC/DC concert was stunning, lots of fun. Got to catch up with friends in Welly, and finally got to see Ian today which was just great.

B is back at the vets on Wednesday to have a growth cut out of her bum – vet thinks it is benign and is not large enough to cause problems yet, but we think it seems to be getting bigger even now. Good news is she hasn’t lost any weight over the past few months, I was thinking she may have. So Wednesday will be a bit stressy with having to catch her and leaving her at the vets etc. I don’t know if there is going to be a biopsy on the lump, wasn’t discussed.

Been snooping in my work email and it looks like a full on few weeks ahead. Got an intro preso for new MBA students coming up, another person has been in contact with my boss (i.e. different from previously), and he sounds like he has quite high expectations. Wanted “the best people in the team for it” (or words to that effect in an email to my boss). Seems like she has sold us to him successfully, its a bit disconcerting though.

I guess the reality is once I get my coffee and am back at my desk, I’ll have my game-face back on and all will seem completely achievable! (I think

In the middle of my week off – not feeling as chilled out as I was over the christmas break. Mildly angtsy, not sure why. Is it because I am stressing out about taking B to the vets for her checkup? Silly but this happens. Been reading, weeding the garden and painting the little cast iron stool thing I bought second-hand years ago (and have been intending to paint ever since).

Well today is a bit of a doozy. K has been admitted to hospital and Guillain–Barré syndrome is suspected. Poor thing was having a lumbar puncture last night. Today I am beside myself with worry about it all. Maybe it’s no big deal. However it sounds like it could be really serious. I feel so absolutely useless, waiting for news. Am I over-reacting, what should I be worried about, what can I do to help.

I am very un-co today, maybe its where I am at in my cycle. I went to get a couple of coffees this morning and ended up dropping one of them. Duh. Maybe now I have typed this and had my coffee I can focus a bit more on work.

We are going out tonight for dinner – a workmate has invited me around, so I am desperately hoping I can be some sort of sensible guest and not dropping things and tripping up over the place.

Deep breaths.

I’m still using sweet almond oil as an eye makeup remover, and this week I’ve started using it as cleanser in the evenings. I basically just wipe it on, and then use a warm wash cloth to get it off. It seems to be a very effective cleanser so far, will be interesting to see what effect it has on my skin. I’m keeping it all very simple and not stuffing around with combining oils etc. If my skin doesn’t end up liking it, I can always stop using it. I’ve decided to use distilled lavender water with a few drops of lavender e.o as a follow-up toner/spritzer thingy to follow up.

What amuses me is that products like these are available commercially, at vast expense. I saw a 100ml sweet almond oil with lavender and chamomile e.o for something like 11 pounds. Bloody hell! You can get 100ml of bog standard sweet almond oil for about NZ$6, and 50ml of organic sweet almond oil for the same price. A few drops of e.o. will not break the bank. Can’t recall what the cost of the lavender water was, but it was somewhat more expensive than the $7 a litre I have paid

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Another bitsy update of what I have been up to

31st – Dug out stuff for painting, sanded windowsill, trip to supermarket to get food for dinner on Saturday night (every holidaymaker in the district must have been there as well!). No NYE celebrations – just treated it as a normal evening. Neighbourhood very quiet. Didn’t go to be till after 11pm so was awake at midnight, S and I were discussing (yet again) our friend’s relationship situation. Felt rather grateful for mine!

1st – Painted window frame, made zuccotto for dinner party (blueberry liqueur, chocolate custard, blueberries, strawberries). S got in a snit about how many dishes there were so he went to bed in a bad mood. I was awake most of the night wondering if it was just the dishes or something else. In past years this would have thrown me into a turmoil of self-doubt and self-hatred because it was “all my fault” he was upset, but was just puzzled. What a way to spend the first night of the new year. Felt somewhat different about relationship compared to previous night!

2nd – ok it “was” just the dishes. For god’s sake! The day of the dinner party. Overcast and windy. Planned and made lists and got house sorted, meal prepped. R + S arrived about 6.30 with numerous bottles of wine. Had a very very nice evening and retired about 11ish. Menu Starters – rice crackers, tomato and garlic hummus, Indian snacky things (bhaji mix??), carrot sticks Mains – Moroccan chicken (served cold) with oregano mayo, smoked chicken and melon salad, couscous, green salad Dessert – zuccotto

3rd – we all woke up to a gorgeous morning. Bacon and eggs for breakky. Guests left about 10ish so they could get into the garden. I think their stay went fine, they coped with our ramshackle abode! I really didn’t stress about it all in the end. Spent most of the morning sitting outside reading, and general lounging about and pottering for the rest of the day. Wind got up again in the afternoon so not much good outside.

 4th – had a big lie in and read. Finished chick lit book – Ralph’s party. Good fun read. Decided to head into town and do some shopping. Very windy. Picked up my shoes I had on layby – bought new swimsuit and swim shorts, scarf (all 30% off), four boxes of xmas cards (50% off!!). Home to blob then back into action – prepping dinners for the week (making things stretch as food budget has totally blown over the last few weeks!), took down xmas trees (sob), getting ready for work next day (sob, sob!)

Just noting down what I have been up to over the last few days – I guess so I don’t look back and think, what the hell did I do after Christmas? Actually it’s not a huge amount ..

Sunday 27th – after the visitors left it took awhile to wind down – kept getting up and about! Sorted out some laundry and caught up on some tele.

Mon 28th – Lazy morning reading and lying in. B arrived about noon and we went off and had a lovely lunch and then over to Shannon for some shopping. By the time we got back to mine the day was a stunner so we sat outside for a bit while before B headed off. It was a gorgeous evening.

Tues 29th – spent all morning reading as I had to get Wolf Hall back to the library. What a stunning book. Pm was grocery shopping, lounging around home and pottering. S home about 5ish.

Weds 30th – S back to work. We’d talk the previous night about if we were going to C+K’s civil union and astonishingly we were decisive and said yes we’d go! Helped along I think by at two different Auckland friends saying we could stay, and they could taxi us about! So I got the flights booked – we couldn’t get the cheaper seats for both legs of the journey but no matter. I had been umming and aaahing about going – sounds silly but I was actually worried about feeling totally like a fish out of water amongst C’s new “city” friends, but I am over that now.

Most of the rest of the day involved moving the pantry cupboard from the kitchen to the dining room. S has been keen on this for some time, and I was rather dubious until I figured out how I thought the space would work. So after a few hours (and several rest stops) of unloading the cupboard, wiping the shelves, tossing stuff, and moving the cupboard itself, and restocking, it was sorted.  Our tiny kitchen is transformed. I have actually managed to sneak a fold up table in there, the top of which will be a handy extra surface, and it still gives room for two people to get past each other.

It was sunny yesterday but horrendously windy. I actually lost a sheet off the line – god knows where it is (only a spare so not a problem really)!  But by evening it was pretty calm, then later it got cloudy and cooler and had a shower of rain. The weather is nuts.

So it’s the 31st as I type this. Nothing planned for tonight, and I don’t even care! Must be what happens when you get older It’s a gloriously sunny day – am thinking I should go and visit a friend I haven’t seen for awhile.

Have invited R+S for dinner Saturday night – we had said we’d catch up over the break, and I thought it was time they came to ours, as we always go there.  They’ll stay the night too so they don’t have to worry about drinking and driving. They always cook us such wonderful food – and they have a spotless clutter free house, so you can imagine this whole gig is a little intimidating. But start the year as I mean to go on! I’ve more or less got the menu planned – two chicken dishes – Moroccan chicken (new recipe, drumsticks – will serve cold I think), and smoked chicken and melon salad (which is a good looking and tasty dish but very easy). Green salad and couscous to go with it. Might do the zuccotto for afters. As this all can be more or less prepared I don’t have to stress out about cooking. Well that is the theory